Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize