a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
