Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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