im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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