He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
