sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you traded sex for a burrito?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
