My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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