Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
