I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
