That's intense
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
