having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
