somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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