i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
