Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
