You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
