why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize