I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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