are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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