we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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