I cannot find my penis.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
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The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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