david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize