White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
