is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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