john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
