smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
