I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
