Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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