My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
