He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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