THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
