that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
