So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
