No, you can still breathe under the balls.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
