Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
