Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she smelled like a LAN party
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
