My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
