Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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