Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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