Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
