Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Help. Why am I so naked?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
