Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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