Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
