Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
