I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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