i think my mom watched the whole time
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
