This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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