He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
