Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
