i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You may now shotgun with the bride
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
