yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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