Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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