i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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