if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
