Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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