I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
