Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I die, sorry about rent.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
