I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
