I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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