my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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