They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
