Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Vodka?
Forever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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