It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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