The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
